What Is a Phobia, Really?
We all fear something. Whether it’s heights, snakes, or public speaking – fear is part of being human. But when that fear becomes overwhelming, irrational, and interferes with your daily life, it might be a phobia.
A phobia is more than just discomfort. It’s an intense, often uncontrollable fear of a specific object, situation, or activity – even when there’s little or no danger present. Phobias can hold people back in small ways or major ones, limiting everything from travel plans to job opportunities to relationships.
Let’s explore the 10 most common phobias, their effects, and what can be done to manage or overcome them, especially as we grow older and seek a healthier, more balanced life.
Why Talk About Phobias After 35?
Many women over 35 juggle multiple roles – parent, partner, caregiver, professional, and sometimes the emotional load magnifies existing fears. Left unaddressed, phobias can impact mental health, self-esteem, and quality of life.
Understanding what you (or someone you love) may be going through is the first step toward healing.
Top 10 Common Phobias: How They Show Up & What You Can Do
1. Arachnophobia – Fear of Spiders
What It Is: An intense fear of spiders that may trigger panic even from pictures.
How It Shows Up: Avoiding basements, garages, wooded areas, or panic when seeing even harmless house spiders.
What You Can Do:
- Learn about spiders to reduce irrational fear
- Use pest control or keep spaces clean and clutter-free
- Exposure therapy can gradually reduce sensitivity
2. Acrophobia – Fear of Heights
What It Is: A deep fear of being in high places, like rooftops, bridges, or even escalators.
How It Shows Up: Dizziness, sweating, or panic on balconies, in tall buildings, or during flights.
What You Can Do:
- Practice grounding techniques
- Start with low heights and build tolerance
- Use virtual reality or controlled exposure with a therapist
3. Agoraphobia – Fear of Open or Crowded Spaces
What It Is: Fear of situations where escape feels difficult, often linked with panic attacks.
How It Shows Up: Avoiding shopping malls, public events, or even stepping outside alone.
What You Can Do:
- Begin with short, supported outdoor activities
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy(CBT) and exposure therapy are highly effective
- Breathing exercises to manage panic
4. Claustrophobia – Fear of Small or Confined Spaces
What It Is: Fear of being trapped or unable to escape.
How It Shows Up: Anxiety in elevators, tunnels, airplanes, or crowded rooms.
What You Can Do:
- Practice visualization and breathing techniques
- Start using elevators with someone you trust
- Gradually challenge comfort zones in safe steps
5. Social Phobia – Fear of Social Situations (Social Anxiety)
What It Is: A strong fear of being judged, embarrassed, or humiliated in public.
How It Shows Up: Avoiding parties, public speaking, group meetings, or even video calls.
What You Can Do:
- Role-play or rehearse situations
- Try small, supportive group settings first
- Seek cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
6. Trypanophobia – Fear of Needles or Injections
What It Is: An intense fear of medical needles or blood draws.
How It Shows Up: Avoiding vaccinations, fainting during blood tests, or anxiety before procedures.
What You Can Do:
- Request numbing creams or distraction techniques during procedures
- Practice deep breathing or look away
- Desensitization through gradual exposure can help
7. Aerophobia – Fear of Flying
What It Is: Fear of being on airplanes or losing control during a flight.
How It Shows Up: Canceling trips, sleepless nights before travel, or anxiety at airports.
What You Can Do:
- Learn about air safety to ease fear
- Try short, local flights to build confidence
- Consider anti-anxiety strategies or consult a professional
8. Mysophobia – Fear of Germs or Dirt
What It Is: A compulsive fear of contamination by germs, often leading to obsessive cleaning.
How It Shows Up: Excessive hand washing, avoiding public spaces, or fear of touching shared objects.
What You Can Do:
- Set limits on cleaning rituals
- Understand the difference between hygiene and obsession
- Gradual exposure with guidance can be very effective
9. Thanatophobia – Fear of Death or Dying
What It Is: Fear of one’s own mortality or the loss of loved ones.
How It Shows Up: Sleeplessness, health anxiety, fear of hospitals or funerals, obsessive thinking.
What You Can Do:
- Talk openly about end-of-life fears with a counselor
- Practice mindfulness and gratitude
- Focus on living fully rather than avoiding death
10. Glossophobia – Fear of Public Speaking
What It Is: A common fear of speaking in front of an audience—even small ones.
How It Shows Up: Nervousness, trembling, sweating, or avoidance of leadership roles or meetings.
What You Can Do:
- Rehearse in front of a mirror or small group
- Join a speaking club like Toastmasters
- Use breathing and grounding exercises before speaking
How Phobias Affect Daily Life
Phobias aren’t just “quirky” or “harmless.” They can lead to:
- Missed opportunities – Turning down jobs, travel, or personal growth
- Isolation – Withdrawing from social connections or family life
- Mental health issues – Anxiety, depression, panic attacks
- Physical symptoms – Sweating, shaking, heart palpitations, nausea
If you’ve ever structured your whole day—or your life—around avoiding a fear, you know how exhausting it can be.
Can Phobias Be Treated?
Yes!
The good news is, phobias are highly treatable. With the right approach, most people can significantly reduce their fears or overcome them completely.
Common Treatment Options:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT): Helps reframe negative thoughts and reduce fear responses
- Exposure Therapy: Gradual, controlled exposure to the feared object/situation
- Medication: Sometimes used short-term to manage anxiety symptoms
- Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Breathing exercises, meditation, and grounding tools
- Support Groups: Sharing experiences can reduce shame and offer community
Small Daily Habits That Help
Even if you’re not ready for therapy, there are simple ways to cope with fear and anxiety daily:
- Journaling your thoughts to recognize patterns
- Staying active, as movement reduces stress hormones
- Limiting caffeine, which can trigger anxiety
- Practicing breathwork during anxious moments
- Talking to a friend or loved one regularly
Remember, even small steps count.
A Gentle Reminder:
As we age, we become more self-aware – but also more set in our ways. That can make it harder to admit when something is controlling us. But the truth is:
Facing your fear isn’t weakness—it’s growth.
If you’ve been silently battling a fear for years, now might be the time to finally acknowledge it, explore it, and gently start to reclaim your freedom.
Don’t Let Fear Shape Your Life
Phobias are more common than you think—and you’re not strange, dramatic, or alone for having one. But life beyond fear is possible. And it’s never too late to start.
So if something’s been holding you back for years, ask yourself:
“What would life look like if I didn’t fear this anymore?”
The answer might just open up a new chapter.
